38 - I've been Feeling a Soul Sickness Lately.

Join the Art is Medicine Challenge - August 1-31st - Undomesticate your Creativity and give your emotion somewhere to go, it's £33 and the link is below ❤️‍🔥

https://lorenlewiscole.lpages.co/art-is-medicine-challenge/

I've been feeling a real sense of soul sickness recently, tears, overwhelm, a longing to return to my deepest knowing and to find myself back in a sense of awe and mystery. I've been yearning for surrender into the unknown, to be held by forces outside of my mind, I've been longing for the serenity and fire of artistic embodiment. 

This isn't about results, about competence, skill or anything externally validated, this is about returning to our deepest intelligence in a world that wants us so disembodied and distracted. 

Art is medicine, Beauty is MEDICINE. A felt sense of inner resource and beauty, not an externally validated idea of externalised and normalised beauty that ingrain western beauty standards. This beauty is the deepest truth of our authenticity and the courage to embody everything the body can feel without seeing some emotional experiences as good and some as bad. that is courage, that is beauty, and our Art can take it all, and asks for more. 

I have been feeling soul sick, I needed a space to deeply feel everything. Then, the last week, I created space to return home. I set up some materials in a low key way and I went into the most amazing portal of remembering. Art is medicine. There's no shame in forgetting, it simply makes the remembrance sweeter. 

Join me and a community of deep feeling women for the month of August, to create space to re-centre our fire and creativity, giving feelings somewhere to go, to express, to be alchemised into pleasure and wisdom. 

This is without a doubt the place I've yearned for my entire life and I cannot wait to see what unfolds here.

Please share this episode and challenge with anyone who would benefit from this medicine.

With love, 

Loren

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello and welcome back to the pod pod pod poddywad pod. I've really missed sending a recording last week, and honestly, I have been in it. I've been going through a really challenging time, which has come from the profound gift of the business growing. But you know that phrase new level, new devil, or new level old devil, depending on who says it, but this idea that when we grow and expand, there are just bigger challenges and bigger gifts, and I've really been in them. I think for me, my medicine has always been to have a place where I can ex where I can express myself creatively that hasn't got a result tied to it, that place of play and experimentation and wonder, and I have not been prioritizing that. Prefrontal cortex is not my sort of zone zone de forte, you know. It's not, I need to be deep in the body, I need to be deep in play. And I think sometimes, like, I I've spoken to different people in my life about when you when you pull yourself out of a challenging time. And listen, challenging times happen in so many different ways. Sometimes it's something that happens on the outside, a bereavement of someone close. Um so many different things can cause a challenging experience. Like a friend of mine's just been just been awarded a consultancy ship. She's she's a surgeon, and like the level of responsibility on her shoulders, you know, she's now the boss of all these dudes, and they've got stuff running around her being a woman, and like the level of stress in her life is so intense, but she wants to do this thing. So sometimes we're just going through a hard time because we're in a transition, we're a new parent, and and it's like we can't suddenly change that thing. But I think the cultural discourse on going through a hard time, fortunately, like if we're lucky enough that there is a cultural discourse, normally what people will say is talk to people, you know, make sure you're not going through it alone, all of which I agree with. They might also say food and nutrition and exercise and maybe stop drinking, whatever, but I think it's so easy to forget when you're a deeply feeling woman. Like the way I pull myself out of a hard time is always through diving into play and creative expression and that sensate world of mystery. That is always how I self-soothe my way back to feeling like I belong. And I think what is having a hard time? Well, it's somehow this feeling that you're not you're not doing it right, like you're not quite for me. It's I can never clear my inbox, you know, I can never do everything I'm supposed to do, I can never leave the studio tired. Like, it's all these little things. I forgot to do this. It's always it's always this feeling of falling short, and it's inverse, it's like there's a feeling of falling short, but it's it's projected onto mundane stuff of the world that like doesn't really matter. Of course, you're never gonna dot all the I's and cross the T's, of course, you're never gonna leave the garden perfectly spotless, of course the kitchens and all of these things. Whereas I want to experience falling short in that like sublime way, you know, like wrestling with God kind of way. That's the way I want to experience falling short. And when I don't have that feeling, when I don't have that feeling of wrestling with God, you know, in that incredible way that you want to be defeated through the arts. Like I want to be defeated when I wrestle through God because the very wrestling alone makes me a better person, as Reilke said. I'm gonna quote that poem actually now. Okay, The Man Watching, if you don't know this poem by Reina Maria Rilke, I can tell by the start again, I can tell by the way the trees beat after so many dull days on my worried window panes that a storm is coming. And they hear the far-off fields say things, I can't bear without a friend, I can't love without a sister. The storm, the shifter of shapes, drives on across the woods and across time, and the world looks as if it has no age. The landscape, like a line in a s in a psalm book, is seriousness and weight and eternity. What we choose to fight is so tiny, what fights with us is so great. If only we would let ourselves be dominated, as things do by some immense storm, we would become strong too and not need names. When we win is with the small things, and the triumph itself makes us small. What is extraordinary and eternal does not want to be bent by us. I mean the angel who appeared to the wrestlers of the Old Testament when the wrestler's sinews grew long like metal strings. He felt them under his fingers like chords of deep music. Whoever was beaten by this angel, who often simply declined the fight, went away proud and strengthened and great from that harsh hand, and needed him as if to change his shape. Winning does not tempt that man. This is how he grows by being defeated decisively by constantly greater things. Ugh, and to me that really speaks to like I am desperate to be wrestling with angels, and I feel like what I've been I've been very in the mundane world for about nine months, and I've loved that, and it's big girl CEO type stuff. As a coach, I'm working with says it's just like it's big girl stuff, you know. I've been building in the in the 3D world, but I'm desperate to be wrestling with angels, and makes me want to cry actually because that is how I come home, and I think my whole life I felt lonely for a lexicon where where people understand that, and the amazing thing about working and sharing my work on Instagram is that I have found kindred spirits who also feel like this, where we have a conversation not about not about the normal wellness conversation, but people tell me, yes, I'm the same, I resource myself through my artistic practice, and I like every day I cry with resonance and feeling seen and seeing you, and just to reflect back to each other, like this is how we regulate, this is how we soothe, this is how we remember who we are, and I'm craving to be wrestling with angels. I don't want to win, I don't want to win just in the mediocre stuff. I'm grateful for that. But on my soul, my soul is crying out to be dominated by some unknowable force, like like he talks about in the poem, you know. The angels actually declined the fight, and then they went and we went away proud and strengthened and great from that harsh hand that needed him as if to change his shape. I mean, that that is the artistic experience, that is the artistic moment, and I'm craving it in a way that I've never craved it before, and I'm aware of it, and I've caught I've actually not had the time, and I'm really feeling that. I'm not getting angry and defensive necessarily, but I've been feeling really overwhelmed and the really overwhelmed and kind of armoured, and I can't let things in. So, like, music has been feeling like it's too much. But the most amazing thing is that when like I I don't despair anymore, but what I do have is a sense of panic because I know the medicine I need, and when I can't get that medicine or I can't give myself the space, I feel like every day there's responsibilities on my shoulder. It's like I know I need to drink from this well, but I just don't have the energy. It's not energy, it's like I don't have the capacity to walk to the well right now, and I think in a way, there's a pain in knowing what you need and chronically not giving it to yourself. We're talking months, and yes, I do dance, I do do lots of I'm talking like I want to go deep again. Do you know that neuroplasticity? So the way the way all animals learn, the way primates learn, we learn through play. And the reason that play, the reason that we learn through play is because when we learn, this is wild, right? When we play, our cognitive capacity through neurology, the neural networks light up 400 times more precisely than when we're in a resting state of like front of the brain. So play is an evolutionary mechanism that feels good and releases bonding hormones and oxytocin and all of those kind of things where mammals play together, as well as when mammals, but certainly people play alone, children, toddlers. And what this chemistry does is it makes us feel good, so we do it again. It's like evolution going, Come on, this felt good, do it again. But when we play, we learn. So that's why mammals play fight, that's why so much learning in the foot in the early years of childhood happens through play. That's why kids role-play stuff, that's why they role-play sex when they start understanding their bodies are changing, and we're like, oh no, don't roll. It's like that's how they learn, they ritualise things that they don't understand, and they bring it into that space. Oh, am I doing that as an adult? Because my nature is play, my nature is experimentation, all of ours is, and life has got me bitch-slapped into the front of my brain right now. I'm like, I'm not staying here, and it's so amazing when we come back to it because yes, it's painful to forget, it is painful to forget. I've been feeling a soul sickness, like I've been feeling on the 3D level, grateful, healthy, so many things, but on that deepest soul level, I've been I've missed my art so much, I've missed wrestling with angels, I've missed that great kind of feeling of belonging and tenderness and mystery, and feeling the mystery coming through my hands. I've missed it so much. And the other day I went into the studio, I was like, Enough already. And my gorgeous friend, who's part-timing assistanting for me, she I told her to create the space so the floor was covered, she'd primed some wood for me, so I was like rocking up and painting. And oh my god, within 10 minutes, my whole frequency changed. I started to feel the energy coming. Um, my shoulders were tight, and I was kind of like not breathing as much as I should do, but I would keep remembering. Oh, I need to breathe deeper. But it was like I had to keep remembering to breathe properly. Oh, any high achieving Capricorns out there. Um, and when I started painting and I wanted the unknown, I didn't want to plan anything, I didn't want to sketch anything, I didn't want to even think about the materials, I just wanted to use what I had, which were like old paint samples. I just needed to be in that place of complete unknown and be held by the aesthetic moment. And I also wanted to be in a place where I didn't have any, I didn't really, I couldn't really control the outcome. So I actually masking taped one paintbrush to another paintbrush so that I had less control. And any painters out there, you will know that sometimes when you want to really freedom paint, and you're just you're quite dexterous for me, this anyway, I feel like I've got too much control and things look too rigid. So I was like, I'm either gonna use my non-dominant hand or I'm gonna masking tape one to the other, and that's what I did. So I had this incredible somatic experience of like the thing coming through felt childlike, and I just flowed with it, and my brain was so tired that I couldn't even have narrated what was happening if I wanted to, and it was a really healing experience. But the somatics of that within a really short amount of time, this is why I love art as homecoming, is within a really small amount of time, my whole system started flooding with presence and belonging. I don't know what the fucking hormones are for that, but that's what it was. My heart started escaping my rib cage and and like filling my aura around me, and then the tears came because I was like, How have I left it this long? This is so primary to my being, and then the double tears came because I was like, This is how like I there's it's beautiful to forget because every time I forget, I can walk myself back with more with more ability to share this experience. Every time I forget, I'm a better sister to someone else who's forgotten, and we all forget and we all remember, and it's not about arriving anywhere because life is going to require so many different things of us in different seasons. I've got a friend, I've got a few friends at the moment who are going through a hard time, and it's like I can't sort their problems out for them because ultimately they need to find their way through them, their family, whatever it is, but highlighting to a sister who's deeply feeling and needs that feeling to have somewhere to go, just highlighting your art is your sanctuary, like you're not because artistic experience solves your problems, but because it gives you a space, a container to fully embody what you're feeling. And when we fully embody something, when we fully feel into the grief, the overwhelm, the sadness, the excitement, things move and things move really quickly. And I realize that there was a lot of fear underneath my experience, but there was also so much excitement and pleasure that I hadn't been able to tap into because my front brain was like, I'm overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed, I've got this to do, I don't want to let this client down. And all of those concerns are real and part of growing and part of scaling. But what was under all of that that I've been tapped out of is a deep, profound, like awake excitement that I get to play, and I'm growing a business from the perspective of being deeply tapped into my creative engine and the great forces of creativity and the helping energies that surround us. So we think sometimes, oh, I'm just overwhelmed if I if I soften our cry. Yeah, but then what's also with the tears? The tears bring this incredible wash over us, you know. And it just reminded me again of something I had forgotten, and it's so nutritious to remember is that all of the feelings contain nutrition, and for me, the vehicle for understanding that in my body has always been my artistic experience. Like, no feeling is less worthy than any other feeling, and sadness is one of the most nourishing, beautiful feelings, and when we fully feel it, everything like there's a beauty in it, there's a poignance in it, and in that beauty, and in that poignance, there's a generosity that's like I'm gonna contribute something, and when I see that in people, it's so special because all of the head ideas of is my contribution worthy, that's all in the head, but when it's really coming from the body and the heart, there's no is my contribution worthy, there's I am a human being on planet earth and I belong, and I've made this tiny clay pot with my thumbs or whatever, and it's so healing, and I live for it, and it's okay to forget because when we remember, it makes everything more sweet, and the feeling that I can come back to myself without having to go and discuss things in therapy, without having to have expensive bodywork, without all of which there is a time and a place for. I also I never want I never want it to be interpreted when I'm saying like the answers are within us that we have to be hyper-individualist. I don't believe that. But having gone through like a decade of you know, the wellness industry and healing and paying other practitioners to help me and move my energy, I can tell you that nothing, nothing moves my energy and opens my heart and gives me a sense of belonging, like being in my work and being in my art and channeling the things that are coming through me in a way that I don't know how it's going to come out, giving this intensity, the immensity of this feeling somewhere to go, some form. So it lives outside my body and I'm not carrying it all. I can't carry. We're not supposed to carry the immensity of our human experience on our shoulders, let alone in our minds. We have a culture where it's like try and understand all of your human experience through your mind, through understanding your childhood, through understanding trauma patterns. It's like fucking hell, it's impoverished. I'm dying. I don't want to understand it in that way. Can't I go to paint and have an experience of like crying or dance and have an experience of my body that I never knew was possible because somatic intelligence is the ground of our being. Can't I do that instead? Maybe I'll have a communication from an ancestor, maybe I'll have a synchronicity that wasn't available to me because I was in my head locking down my experience. And you know, the way Jung talked about synchronicity again, I'm gonna cry. Like I've had so many amazing synchronicities in the past few months, and always they come in when I'm open enough to receive them. And how I open often is like shed a tear and let go of some frustration and feel some anger deeply through, and then the synchronicities come in, and that's what inspiration is. When you feel safe in your body again to realize that that crow did look at you for an extra second, or butterflies don't normally stay on your big toe for two minutes, or whatever it is, like when we're open enough to fully feel the inspiration running through our system because inspiration is all that is children are inspired, children are curious, and then when we live from our experience internally, like it's it's so not about the result or imposter syndrome or perfectionism or procrastination because we're so resourced on a somatic level from the emotions we feel. It's like they're feeding us, like my sadness feels me, feeds me when I truly feel it. My anger gives me a vitality when I truly feel it that I want to live for. You know, I've said this so much anger protects what's sacred. Anger is a masculine force that protects the feminine, and I get angry with the state of my life when I don't have time for this. Why? Because I know how powerful it is, so it shows me what's important to me, it shows me what I need to protect. I get angry if a woman tells me that you know she was shut down as a child and has never been able to find her voice creatively as an adult. Like it makes me angry, not at her, not at the world, but angry on behalf of that child inside of any person who's got so much intelligence in their system and so much unique expression, and it's been shut down, it makes me angry. And that anger is a good thing, it points to what's true, points to what's true. I'm not talking about a chronic anger, but even chronic anger-like anger is so pure, it's so pure, it's such a pure force, and we've been taught to be like, I'll be okay when I'm not angry. No, all of our emotions contain intelligence, but quite frankly, often people around us can't hold them. And if that's the case, it can be sad, but when we remember, like, remember that your art can hold your emotions. Your art can hold it, your art can take that form. Your art doesn't have your art is so deeply intelligent that it will never be offended, it will never be triggered, it will never hold a grudge, it will never hold you in a box. It will create bigger and bigger and bigger places for you to burn down the box, and then it will take the ashes, mix them with some sweat, make them into a paint, and give you more paint to create more. So I am really in a season of remembering at the moment in such a big way. Like I've been building my business for seven years, and it has been the biggest gift, and I've been building it as I've been building, you know, knowing what it's like to be a mum. Building my business, building uh kind of feeling myself in a world where I'm like, I love jewelry and I love creating and I'm an artist through and through, but really, like when I when I do pop-ups, when I meet people in person, when I meet clients, we don't talk about jewelry, it's like, yeah, you like that? Okay, done. Like there's my clients tend to know instantly what they like. You know, I think my jewelry is quite visceral, and people are like, Yes, I like it, I want it. I never really sell to people, they just know what they want, they're very empowered women. And if you're listening if you're a client of mine, thank you. I love you so much. You are what keeps me going always. This seven years has been really intense, and the thing that keeps me going is the fact that I've got a place, this podcast, my emails, whatever it is, where I can talk about the thing that's the most important to me art is medicine. But the reason I, you know, my background, if you don't know, is that I started training in art psychotherapy because I didn't trust myself as an artist, and I thought I need to get qualified, I need to get, you know, qualifications, and I need to do a post, I need to do an undergrad, then I need to do a master's, and I didn't have a degree, and I blagged myself onto this amazing course that integrated the arts with psychotherapy in the most amazing way, and it was like there was dance, it was like my course of dreams, and then I started doing it, and I just had to do all this it was just too much, it was just too much, and then I got pregnant, and then I was like, right, that is I can't do that anymore. And then I had a real like dark night of the soul, and I realised I didn't want to be with my son's dad, and I won I tried to leave him, and he was like fighting for it and it completely broke me doing that. Had to sell the house. Like I was I was I was I mean it was just the hardest time of my life and I was breastfeeding and we were living in a gar we were living in a cabin in our garden because we were running the house out because we didn't have the money to it was just so intense and I knew that I was in the fires of the most intensely um transformative phase of my life. I just knew it. I just had that kind of foresight and I knew it's going to be hard and I was like right I'm doing it anyway and I didn't want my son to have a memory of us separating so I wanted to do it when he was a baby so that you know by the time he had memories maybe me and his dad would have a functioning relationship which is absolutely what's happened. Eight years of you know hard work meditating sending forgiveness sending love sending healing it freaking worked it's been the hardest thing I've ever done but so worth it to have parents who aren't in a state of conflict so if you're going through that or you've been through well more if you're going through that know that you can absolutely heal relationships you absolutely can you can heal the past you can heal relationships relationships that absolutely deplete your nervous system and you are so exhausted every time you're with them and you cry because your nervous system needs to re-regulate after being with them all of that can be transformed but it takes such a strong conviction and a commitment to love and evolution and putting your child at the centre because their their experience in the nervous system is more important than you being right. Anyway that's another thing and when I had this kind of phoenix in my life 11 years ago nine between nine and 11 years ago I was like I need to create and that's when that's when I kind of the first big time in my life I pulled myself out of this intense hole and I started making jewelry again. That had been something I'd done my whole life but it was always little bits of kind of sheet metal and I didn't really realize there was a market for the kind of stuff I wanted to do. I learnt lost wax casting through lots of trial and error there was nothing about lost wax casting I couldn't find anything about it. I paid loads of money to make loads of mistakes and learnt the whole process because I didn't go to jewelry school or anything and honestly thousands and thousands of pounds worth of mistakes but what do they say an expert is somebody who's made all the mistakes possible you know you really want to ask someone who's made loads of mistakes for advice not someone who just hit the ground running and so I I needed to create because that's how I come back to life and so I thought I'm just gonna sell my work and it's been incredible but that whole time the thing as you know I've really cared about speaking about is that art is medicine. I don't want you to look at another artist or at me and think oh it's great Lauren's so creative. No I want you to see the reflection of your own creativity in my work and in my spirit that's what I want I want you to appreciate the unique contribution of my work but also know that you've got unique contributions. I want to create an economy based on the gifts of people's creativity. I want you to buy my jewelry then I want to buy something off you I want this to feel like the old world where everyone has gifts yeah I have worked hard in jewelry and I am definitely developing a unique voice that I'm really proud of I really feel very proud of some of my work but more than that like I don't want to ever be on a pedestal I want to be in a circle of women and men. I want to be in a circle of reciprocity where people are living this that we create to heal. I want to learn from you with your craft and your skills I want to learn the way you keep your animals the way you do this the way you have this healing modality that you learnt from some grandma in America I want to learn about your craft and so often with my clients it's like wow I you know you guys follow me or whatever on Instagram and I go on your page I'm like what the hell this woman is amazing like you're all so gifted and it feels like we're ancient when when I send you my jewelry and I look at your work and it's like look at the work you're doing in the world and so it really feels like this alive community of reciprocity and I'm so glad that I haven't established myself as a fashion brand but instead I get I'm more in the kind of craft world and there's nothing against fashion it's just a tool um so full of creative amazing people so full of the most amazing minds the most amazing creativity but I just don't I can't align with the kind of cycle of bi-annual releases and you know all the stuff and and yeah a lot of it I can't align with but I get to work with people who really appreciate craft and there are so many shops out there where people are deeply aligned to that and they work on that handcrafted understanding and I'm just so grateful. But yes I really feel this culture of reciprocity and that we are walking each other home and when you wear my jewelry I want it to remind you of your own courage and stay brave stay brave stay expressing yourself may this remind you of that and then I get to enjoy whatever you've been working on I get to enjoy your gifts and so it's this culture of this regenerative culture of sharing and participation and I am so here for that like I'm so here for that so I sometimes get kind of lost in am I a this or a that and I know many of us do and it's not necessarily being a multipassionate creative it's more that I I I'm not a teacher in the sense that I'm I'm just here to to coach and talk and and be on Zoom calls or like write blogs. I'm not I can't just teach my hands actually get hot and start to feel like I'm exploding but at the same time I don't want to only make without being able to talk about the thing that's the most important to my heart. So for sometimes I'm like I just don't know what box I fit in. I mean I don't find other jewellery designers talking about the things that I'm talking about when I meet other jewellers it's very diverse industry but I often feel like I'm this unhinged wild kid who just doesn't really belong anywhere. So how do I work with that? Well I create my own belonging by being who I am and and it works and I encourage you to do the same like maybe you want to write books but you also want to compete in karate tournaments like you are allowed to have interests you are allowed to be a deeply original human being and I have I realize now I've been nourishing my need to create and get a lot like I am an introvert which people are always surprised at because I'm so outspoken and passionate about what I speak about. Not I don't speak like this about everything but I'm unhinged so people are surprised that I'm an introvert but I desperately need time alone mooning cancer if you know you know I desperately need time alone and you know I think artists we are introverted often we need that deep space to not speak and to make sense of our experience and alchemize our pain and alchemise our confusion and alchemise and integrate the expansiveness as well like yes it's great to alchemize pain confusion and grief and all the rest of it but it's also really important to integrate somatically big periods of growth and big periods of yeah growth you know in any way and so that's what I do I create with my hands because that's where I make sense of the world that's where I get an understanding of this world and I also talk about it because if I don't share what is on my heart my heart will burn I can't keep it to myself I can't keep this to myself it's like you have medicine inside of you and you know that sadness you're experiencing if you were just alone in your deep practice like that sadness would not be a problem. It would bless you with its radiance and I just can't not speak about that from the rooftops. So sometimes we all feel like what bloody box am I in and know that it's part of being an authentic human being who's taken things you're interested in and had the courage to go with them. So within that I have started recently I'm like I am hungry I'm hungry for being in a community I'm hungry for being around women who need to make and bringing our intelligence to that and I'm also hungry for people who I want to create a space which is what I'm doing where if people aren't well versed in that but they want to get back into it because we all have seasons of remembering and I'm in that season of remembering at the moment I am bringing the the wild girl from my early 20s and late teens into back into I'm reintegrating this wild soul back into my life as a responsible adult with a child in a business because there are parts of us that we don't give full center stage to and she needs centre stage. Like I can't walk forwards in my life unless that wild child in my heart is absolutely in the driving seat and then the responsibility can follow and the structure can follow but without that deep connection to my soul and my freedom and my curiosity and my play I'm burning out and that's not an option for us as creatives so she needs to be nourished first she comes first there's that book about isn't there for men she comes first it's like how to not make love to a woman without her coming I think yeah well obviously come on so my loves this is an invitation join me for the art is medicine challenge we're gonna be it's 33 quid for a month it's private telegram group there's gonna be daily prompts via voice note there's actually going to be two channels so one for voice transmissions and then one for community stuff where people can like share and express what what's going on but this is not just like come and make contact again with your creativity it's also about embodying all the things that we feel separate us from our creativity. So you know being discordant being ugly we're gonna make ugly shit just to get that fucking stuff out of our system to get out of the fear of making bad work we are going to be embodying all kinds of things we're gonna be playing we're gonna be taking risks we're gonna be going out the house wearing ridiculous clothes we're just gonna get used to being in a state of discomfort with embodiment through our creative practice it's gonna be so healing. I'm so excited to see what we all explore and it's really going to be like a back to school for our creativity you know bringing that expression and centeredness of fire back into our day-to-day lives for for those of us who have just been really in a responsible place for a long time and just need to slightly change direction and this is not a linear thing it's not like oh the more I the more I do it's such a slog no it's like we can instantly come back to ourselves and the more I forget the sweeter that remembrance is and the more tension there is and the more holding on and the more gripping oh baby don't you worry the sweeter it is to come home my god so the link is down below it's 33 quid bring any kindred spirits you feel like need a bit of a reboot for their creative heart to come back to themselves and remember the intelligence and wisdom in their hands and in their bodies no previous artistic experiences required I often find that people who haven't got a background in the arts are the most open because they haven't got any concept of themselves as an artist so everyone gets to contribute and yeah I'm in a massive season of remembering and I feel like I'm on the edge I'm just in a massive season of transformation and change and this is the medicine I need at this time and I invite you in to experience this medicine with me and contribute your own medicine and we can create just a party of medicine women how fucking amazing so I send you loads of love the link is below we start on August the first and it's for a month so this is going out a couple of weeks in advance almost and I cannot wait I cannot wait sending you so much love and see you on the inside